relationships status
this week, i want to talk about relationshipsnothing has been more front and center for me the past few years than my interpersonal relationships. with friends, men, others in this city i live, my community and beyond.
FRACTURES
i began this journey thinking they’re merely reflections of our inner states, leading me to take radical responsibility for my role in our curves and turns. i’ve come to realize partnerships of all kinds are not always reflections of both individual’s internal worlds, sometimes they’re just a mirror for one, and the other in the pairing is collateral damage, an NPC.
sometimes the fracture in aura is not caused by oneself, rather the other. in these instances, our responsibility is not to repair it by observing our own wrong doings; these are junctures in life: is it worth the repair— the forgiveness, keeping the other in your life, or is the best outcome for all simply to walk away?
naturally, we will create ruptures within our relationships, and we should be taking account of our actions to mend those instances, and when we find ourselves in pairings where such mending and melding is worth it, take care of those people with your whole heart, because what a gift God has given us in one another.
i want to say. i know i brushed up on a super sensitive topic and walked away just as quickly— when to stay and when to say goodbye. one day, if we’re interested, i would love to share more about this. truth is, i don’t think i have that answer yet, so i am not much of an expert on relating this information~
SOCIAL MEDIA
social media is not real life. period. for some, maybe more than my own. let me rephrase that, social media, for me, is not real life. i only post myself looking pretty. i never share with y’all why i cried that day (ok, maybe that’s something i would do from time), and i certainly won’t show y’all who i am dating unless we’re at the stage where i bring him with me to visit the familia in mexico, ya feel me? so what does that say about our relationship— you and i? my sweet reader, who may simply know me from what i share, safely, on my qininaaa instagram account? my kind audience, who might just have hung out with me a few times that one year? perhaps there is no relationship at all.
though, i would like to offer an alternative notion to this spec. through time and space of al gore’s internet (lol), maybe we are transmitting some sort of energy that can be felt. on some level, we’re all energy readers, aura seers, in between the line readers, third eye gazers, heart to heart transmutation specialists. if that’s you, because that is certainly me, i can confirm you do know me, because you know my spirit, and on some level, that makes me feel more seen than anything.
for reflection: those of us who are tight lipped about what we post on social media, why? what does that say about us? perhaps we know social media is not an organic phenomenon, therefore how are we to act as such when this is birthed of a robotic trend and we are sentient souls and light houses harboring our eternal spirits? maybe it’s simply an ego issue, and we’re a little (or a lot) insecure? sometimes i wonder if i have created a gallery of art and want to reflect back on my grid as such? i don’t know, but i love to ask. a girl can wonder.
THIS MUCH I KNOW IS TRUE
the bad:
back to relationships. i know what good ones feel like: when a relationship path is less than clear, i can simply use my earth angels as gauges and north stars. to be clear, sometimes even these best ones have their bumps and tugs. jealousy can get mixed inside, causing a temporary rupture. we heal them with tenderness, softness, openness and love. perhaps anger erupts, because after all, we are simply humans, and imperfections exists amongst lovers. we know these moments of reflection are worth healing to elevate our selves and our dynamics with our people. at times, valleys occur, not because of ugliness, but because we are on different paths and the gulf is nothing more than a reflection of a natural tendency to explore on opposite streams. stressors with our people is natural, and a helpful part of evolution. what does that balance feel like though? who do we choose to keep in and why? i don’t know. i do know that there are people i have had to say goodbye to that i am still sharing tea with on the astral, because the love is still there, we just simply weren’t able to evolve and figure it out as humans, in this life time. that’s ok, too.
the good:
now that i gave my speech about not everything being rainbows, flowers and butterflies, i want to share with you all what good love feels like when it’s in flow, for me.
i think the pure way to describe this love i speak of is agape love, something my best friend taught me about. it’s essentially the love God has for us. unconditional, unfiltered, unbridled, riddled with humanity, yet wide open with a stream of unobstructed faith in the other person’s goodness. it’s a love that says ‘i take you now, forever and yesterday, in all your ugliness and glory, because when i see you, i see someone beautiful’. it would be super cute if we walked around earth seeing everyone in this way, but, as i alway say, we’re simply humans, after all. really, what i know to be true, is that relationships are choices. how sweet and beautiful to know that us and our lovers and beloveds chose each other, wow <3.
I LOVE YOU, BYE
ok, with that said, i hope you have a great sunday. domingo is for lovers.
xo, carly yolanda trujillo